


Christmas Steve

by Bill_Longbow



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers Family, Christmas Fluff, Christmas Steve, Christmas Tree, Domestic Avengers, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Not Canon Compliant, a bit cracky
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-24
Updated: 2018-12-24
Packaged: 2019-09-26 13:59:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17143073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bill_Longbow/pseuds/Bill_Longbow
Summary: When a friendly Christmas brawl gets out of hand Natasha knows the perfect stand-in tree.





	Christmas Steve

**Author's Note:**

  * For [yngvolkayno](https://archiveofourown.org/users/yngvolkayno/gifts).



> Written for the Yngvolkayno who showed me [this lovely art](https://acachette.tumblr.com/post/181270055790/oh-christmas-steve-oh-christmas-steve/) by Cachette, and I just had to write something for it.
> 
> Thank you to [Espresso-Patronum](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BucketRogers/pseuds/Espresso-Patronum/) for betaing!
> 
> Merry Christmas!

"You're a good fighter, Steven, but you lack experience," Thor said kindly, taking another swig from his glass.  
  
They were sprawled out over the different couches and cushions in front of the fire, the lights dimmed low and Christmas music playing softly in the background. Tony could say that Christmas this year had been a roaring success. The X men had this year's emergency duty, so they had splashed out with food and drinks, enjoying themselves at the table for hours.  
  
At some point, Thor had rolled in a cask of Asgardian mead, and from then on things started to get a bit fuzzy, with even the superhumans rosy-cheeked and laughing more freely.  
  
After Thor's declaration, a hushed silence fell which the demigod didn't give an inkling he'd noticed, sipping contentedly of his mead. The others, including Tony, all collectively held their breath and bent a bit forward, intent to see what Steve would do.  
  
You didn't challenge Steve.  
  
It had become an unwritten house rule. The man could not back down from a challenge. He was physically incapable of saying "okay, you win," and after the guacamole incident, they had implemented this rule.  
  
Tony watched as Steve's brow furrowed, slower than usual, but it was undeniably the First Sign. Next came the finger he held up as if arguing a case. The Third Sign was a shaking of his head and yes, there it was, he stood, a bit wobbly and held out his hand to Thor. "Let's go a round then, you and me."  
  
The room erupted in chaos, with a few teammates trying to dissuade Steve of this idea entirely, others trying to reason with him to not do this Here and Now. Nat kept to herself, watching the others ineffectually try and talk Steve down, tipping her glass at Tony when she caught him watching. He saluted back and settled more comfortably against the pillows. He had done enough Steve wrangling to know he was past the point of no return, might as well enjoy the show before he had to go and clean up the mess.  
  
As he predicted Steve had neatly pushed up his sleeves and was doing some warming up exercises that emphasized his... all of his, and Tony hoped he wouldn't be too battered later, cause he had Plans for All of That.  
  
He looked over at Thor who shrugged, downed the last of his mead, and stood as well, crouching in a wrestler’s stance.

“Come on, Captain, when a bilgesnipe comes at you from the forest you don’t ask it to wait.” 

  
Tony rolled his eyes and sighed. This was not going to end well. Thor had been steadily drinking for the past hour and a half, and he stood wobbling on his feet, grinning at Steve in a challenge. Steve, for his part, pretended he didn’t hear the taunting but dribbled on the spot, shaking his shoulders loose. From out of nowhere he lunged and tackled Thor to the ground with a swift kick to the back of his knee. He wanted to follow this with an elbow to the gut, but Thor had rolled away and pushed Steve off balance, quickly overpowering him by holding his arm in a lock. He hadn’t counted on how agile Steve was, who kicked him in the temple, making Thor release his hold and roll backward into a crouch again.

“Well played, shield brother,” he said, moving in a circle around Steve who had adopted the same stance.

Their teammates were hurriedly removing furniture out of their path. Bruce and Sam pulled away the sofa, while Clint hauled the loveseat, with Natasha, out of the way. The coffee table moved by itself since Tony had given it a rudimentary AI during one of his science benders.

Thor sprang forward first now, clumsily dodged by Steve, who tried to kick him again, but Thor anticipated this and pulled on Steve’s leg, making him lose his balance and thud to the ground. Thor pounced on him, but Steve rolled out of the way, grabbing at Thor’s waist, who planted his feet on the ground to do a complicated backward roll, taking Steve with him. Steve didn’t let go of Thor during this maneuver, even if he was the one on the bottom. In a feat of superhuman strength, he lifted the Norse God and threw him backward over his head, neatly into the Christmas tree where Thor stayed lying still in a mess of lights and broken glass.

Steve turned to smile victoriously until he saw the mess he had created. His eyes darted between his teammates, who looked at him with a mix of fondness and annoyance, before settling on Tony.

“Babe. There had better be an epic apology fuck in my near future,” Tony commented, trying to look stern. It was hard though. Even after a year of him unapologetically mentioning their sex life in public Steve still turned a delightful pink whenever he did, as if people expected him to do anything else than climb his underwear model boyfriend like a tree.

“I can fix it?” Steve bent quickly to try and piece together two halves of an ornament which had rolled near his feet, but even from this distance, Tony could tell they were pieces of two different things.

“Don’t bother, I’ll send up the Roomba army later.” He didn’t mean to snap, but it really had been a perfect Christmas, and now it was lying in literal shambles. He just counted himself lucky that he’d had the foresight not to put his mom’s old ornamentals in this year’s tree.

“Tony, I’m sorry.” Steve was the picture of sad, with his shoulders drooped and his blue eyes large and watery. He always got more emotional when he was drunk, and right now he looked like a sad puppy. It was adorable, but also annoying because it meant Tony couldn’t stay mad at him.

“I know just the thing,” Natasha said as she jumped off the loveseat and jogged away like she hadn’t downed at least two vodkas and who knew how many glasses of burgundy during dinner.

Steve had snuck closer when Tony stared at Nat’s retreating back and dropped next to him on the armrest of his seat. “I’m really sorry,” he said again, wringing his hands and looking smaller than he should be. His cheeks were a bright red, and he swayed a little where he sat. He must be plastered to show as much.

In the background, Thor had started snoring loudly, politely ignored by the others. Bruce had found a broom and wiped some of the debris onto a pile, while Sam, Clint, and Rhodey were giggling at the bar where Sam was concocting some unholy beverage.

Tony pulled Steve off his perch and onto his lap, that he could was a testament to how drunk Steve actually was, and hugged him close. “It’s okay you big dork. It’s only a tree.”

Steve snuggled securely against him and sighed. “I love Christmas,” he mumbled.

“Up, Captain,” Nat ordered when she came back with Steve’s shield and a box. Very un-Steve-like he docily got up from the chair to accept his fate. She handed him his shield. “Over your head, please.”

Tony watched fascinated as Steve followed Nat’s every order, holding his shield high above his head and staying put. He raised an eyebrow when Nat motioned him to come closer. Normally he would’ve objected on principle, but he was curious what she was up to and sauntered over.

“Steve destroyed the tree, let him become the tree,” she spoke cryptically, and Tony knew he looked stupid to her because with an exaggerated eye roll she pulled a garland out of the box and draped it over Steve’s shoulders. A chain of coloured lights was next, which she shoved into his hands before making her way to the bar where the others were doing a poor job of trying not to laugh.

Tony shrugged. He had done weirder things in his life, and Steve looked so… happy as stand-in tree, who was he to deny him being decked in lights? He carefully wound the lights around Steve’s ankle, and worked his way up, over his torso, his shoulders, and wound them a few times around the shield, before switching them on. The garland was next. He put a different strand of lights around it and tied it around Steve’s arms. As he worked he hummed with the music in the background, without realizing what he was singing exactly, until the others chimed in.

_“Christmas Steve, oh Christmas Steve, such pleasure do you bring me…”_

 

The apology sex marathon was indeed epic, but took place a day after the debris had been cleared. On the night itself, as soon as he had untangled Steve from his decorations, the soldier had fallen into a drunk coma. But as Tony scrolled through the copious amount of pictures Jarvis had made for him of the night he didn’t mind. It really had been a perfect Christmas.

**Author's Note:**

> Come say hi on [Tumblr](http://bill-longbow.tumblr.com) or join us on the 16+ [ Stuckony discord server ](https://discord.gg/jtXcc3n) for all things Tony, Bucky and Steve!


End file.
